I just got married about 3 months ago. Recently it has come to my attention that I am only wearing old t-shirts to bed. I have tried to step it up a notch (while we are both still young) and wear something a little more appealing.
Last night I wore said thing to bed and while it was soft and nice, my lady parts kept popping out. How do I handle this and still seem pretty and sweet? Any advice you can offer would be greatly appreciated.
~Bare to the moon, OKC
Yarr Bare,
This be a problem many a wench face. Ye have passed the average pirate marriage length of 3 months and things have gotten stale. Pirate Pigsey applauds ye initiative to spice it up and offer these three tips:
1. Wear his clothes - Don't want to seem dull in just a t-shirt? If ye can get over the man musk, Pigsey suggest occasionally letting ye first mate find you sitting on the bed in his wares. Wenches be sexy in pantaloons and pirate shirt or boxers and white collar. Covers ye assets while remaining desirable lass.
2. Tape - I understand these modern starlets tape up their boobies frequently while in fancy dress. Double-sided tape ye bounty to the material and that should help. If you be a busty lass of D or bigger, consider duct tape.
3. Go commando - Need not worry about ye ta-tas when they be free as the salty sea. Just wear a pair of scintillating panties and ye man can have free access to ye like an middle-class American in a Thai Brothel.
Hope this helps ye out some. Also consider offering ye husband this simple card the pirate pigsey makes (mature content when clicked) - then ye hardly worry bout where they fly to.
-Pirate Pigsey
http://pigseyart.etsy.com
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